The “Stiff” Reality
It happened at the happiest place on Earth.
Last October, my wife and I took the kids to Disneyland to celebrate my parents’ 40th anniversary. My five-year-old daughter and I were dancing to upbeat Hispanic music in Downtown Disney—I was holding both of her hands, gleefully jumping up and down, trying to be the “fun, silly dad.”
Suddenly, the left side of my back seized up.
I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, yet I was on the verge of being stiff as a board for the rest of the trip. After avoiding a full-blown back spasm, I managed to drag myself through the rest of the evening, stretching like a madman back at the hotel just to recover some mobility for the next day.
This incident forced me to ask a difficult question: Why is my back already failing me at age 35?
I consider myself relatively fit. I consistently do cardio and lift weights. I have no underlying health conditions. But the cracks in my aging body are beginning to show.
What are the symptoms of a “Desk Dad”? At the end of the day, I plop down next to my wife and let out an “old-man groan.” My lower back is sore. My neck is tight. My calves are en fuego. Everything aches.
We tell ourselves we’re active and in “good enough” shape. But let’s look at the facts:
- I am overweight according to my BMI (25.6).
- I don’t eat enough fruits or vegetables.
- I spend most of my time sitting at a computer or watching TV.
Mentally, I was still the high school athlete who can handle anything. Physically, my body was telling me a different story. And as the Disneyland incident proved, you can’t run high-performance software on broken hardware. If I don’t tackle this now, it will affect my quality of life in my 40s.
So, for the past six weeks, I tried something I never thought I would. I started doing Yoga. And it has been the preventative medicine for almost all my physical ailments.
Too Stiff for Yoga? Overcoming the Mental Block
We’re in the 2020s, but there is a lingering stigma that men cannot do anything that women enjoy, and men have to be “manly.” For example, society says men shouldn’t do yoga, have a facial routine, or use good-smelling products. I strongly disagree with this ridiculous, outdated stereotype.
There is nothing wrong with doing things that make you feel good about your body, and yoga is at the top of that list. Get over yourself.
If friends poke fun at you, there are different ways you can respond. Try the following to shut them down:
- Sarcasm: “Yeah, doing exercises that get rid of aches and pains is not manly. You’re absolutely right.”
- Challenge: “Want to try it sometime? You probably can’t get through an entire yoga session without panting on the floor.”
Results: Can Yoga Really Help Stiff Men?
Absolutely, yes! Yoga can help stiff men! I no longer have back stiffness at night or after walking around for a while. My neck feels loose, and I can move it from side to side without much resistance. My calves and hamstrings are much more flexible, and I can finally touch my toes without straining.
I’ve felt the biggest improvements in my groin, hip flexors, and wrists.
Since elementary school, I’ve never been able to sit criss-cross-applesauce. My mom would send a note to my teachers at the start of the year explaining that I couldn’t sit on the carpet with my legs crossed and would either stretch my legs straight out or sit bow-legged with my feet outside my hips. My classmates always asked why I couldn’t sit “normal.” I thought I was born this way, but I realized that yoga for stiff men is about fixing the years of tightness that got us here.
My mom suggested that I stretch more. But I would stretch every day for sports, and nothing changed. The culprit? A mix of tight hip flexors and limited groin flexibility. Yoga works both, and I’m finally getting closer to sitting cross-legged on the floor.
I’ve also had wrist issues my whole life, including surgery to remove a ganglion cyst in my left wrist. Post-surgery, my wrist mobility occasionally drops to 60–70%. I was close to revisiting my orthopedic surgeon to explore my options. Somehow, yoga has significantly reduced wrist pain. Initially, I was hesitant to take it up because I thought it would flare up my wrists and that the answer was always less activity. No more!
My knees were weak, but my palms weren’t sweater and my arms weren’t heavy. There were times when my knees would ache after lower-body workouts at the gym. Now I haven’t had any pain. Maybe all those high-lunge poses working the knees and hip flexors are paying off. I’m not a yoga expert, but based on my limited experience, the hip flexors seem pretty important to your physical well-being.
Now I can be the prototypical dad tossing around my kids without worrying about wrist pain or sudden back spasms.
The Dadventures Approach
Keep it simple and start small. There’s no need to pay hundreds of dollars to attend some fancy yoga class in person. Buy a cheap yoga mat from Costco or Marshalls and follow short YouTube videos.
After trying different instructors, I’ve found that Yoga with Kassandra best fits what I’m looking for (greetings, fellow Yogis!). She does an excellent job explaining each pose, moves at a good pace, and isn’t too “spiritual.”
So far, I’ve found the following three videos from beginner to intermediate.
- Level 1: Beginner Strength & Flexibility (20 minutes). I started my yoga journey by doing this video 3 times a week. Now it’s my cooldown Sunday morning yoga video. The video focuses more on the basics of relieving your stiff body and lays an excellent foundation for more challenging videos.
- Level 2: Daily Stretch and Strength (15 minutes). Once I felt comfortable with level 1, I stumbled upon this video as part of my weekday morning routine. It is perfect for loosening your stiff body to get the kiddos ready for school.
- Level 3: Full Body Power Yoga (30 minutes). This yoga routine is my challenging video with a side of abs. I do this video on Saturday alongside my wife to push myself and feel accomplished on a lazy weekend.
I might go to level 4 by attending a free 50-minute class at my local gym. I’ll let you know how it goes after I take on the challenge.
The Long Game
Like all the habits you try to establish, consistency is key. Think of it like getting your car’s oil changed or investing in your 401(k). You may not see the results right away, but consistently maintaining your body will pay off in the long run.
Now that I’m a dad watching my kids grow up way too fast, I need to start thinking long-term. What will it look like when I have grandkids? I don’t want to be the grandpa who sits on the lounger and can barely stand up to join the festivities.
So, what now?
Carve out some time, get off your butt, pull up a YouTube video, and do some freaking yoga to loosen your stiff body. You don’t need to be flexible to start; you can start to be flexible.
Your future self will thank you.